When Abusers Threaten Revenge Porn

This piece was originally published in 2016. It was updated in 2025. 

Key Takeaways:

1. Revenge Porn is a Crime – Sharing or threatening to share explicit images without consent is a form of sexual violence and is illegal in 49 states. Laws vary by state, making it challenging for victims to navigate the legal system. 

2. A Tool for Control and Abuse – Abusers use threats of revenge porn to manipulate and intimidate victims, even if the images are never actually shared. This form of coercion is considered a serious offense, often classified as sexual extortion.

3. Protection and Prevention Strategies – Victims are encouraged to seek legal protection, involve advocates and take immediate action when threatened. Security experts also advise minimizing identifying details in explicit images and being aware of emerging threats like AI-generated deepfake porn.

Early in their relationship, Laura’s husband, Tom, would sweet-talk her into sending him sexy photos when he was out of town. Years later, he would call her a “prude” or threaten to meet up with other women if she told him that she didn’t want to send new pictures. Sometimes, Tom also insisted on filming their sex together. He promised that he would never let anyone see these images. Laura finally left Tom after years of abusive control. He threatened to send the images to her family, church leaders and the school where she worked as a teacher if she did not come back.

Sharing someone’s naked images without their consent is called “revenge porn.” The technical term is the “nonconsensual disclosure of intimate images.” It doesn’t matter if the images were freely given at one time. If the person depicted did not consent to other people seeing them, distributing them is a crime. The exact terms and charges depend on the state. (Find your state laws here). 

Another survivor, Linda, says she didn’t hesitate to send pictures when her boyfriend asked for them. “He was my boyfriend, then my fiancé, then my husband. I didn’t think twice about it. But when we were done, he sent a naked picture of me to my new boyfriend.”

Linda went to the police with her concerns and the district attorney pressed charges. More importantly, from Linda’s perspective, the sharing of the image was part of what persuaded the judge to grant her a five-year protective order, which she expects to renew for the rest of her life. Her former husband is facing serious felony charges.

In most states, taking images or videos without someone’s knowledge or consent is also considered a crime. A recent public case concerns comedian Ryan Broems, who a jury found guilty of posting naked videos and photos online after his former girlfriend, a college professor, had split from him. The jury awarded her $30 million.

Revenge Porn is Illegal in 49 States

As of the writing of this piece, South Carolina remains the only state in the U.S. with no laws on revenge porn. However, the laws in the forty-nine other states vary a great deal. This “can be a nightmare for victims trying to figure out what their state considers illegal,” says Professor Mary Anne Franks, president and legislative and tech policy director of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, which spearheaded national efforts to enact laws regarding this form of abuse. The Cyber Civil Rights Initiative has a helpline, where people facing concerns about their private images can call.

Franks believes there are “depressingly huge numbers” of victims of revenge porn who are currently fighting for justice in the court system, or who are suffering in silence without accessing legal protection.

Threats of Revenge Porn as a Control Tactic

Abusers threaten to distribute sexual images as a tactic to exert control over their partners and ex-partners. In most states, these threats are considered a crime, even if the images were not actually distributed. Using these threats to harass, intimidate, frighten or abuse makes them crimes.

One recent case of revenge porn threats concerns criminal charges against Erik Lee Jon Avila, of Mobile, Alabama. The charges allege that a few years ago, he made sex videos of a woman he was dating. After she broke up with him, he allegedly threatened to send the images to people she knows unless she had sex with him. This is considered sexual extortion and is a type of revenge porn. It’s a serious crime.

Most threats of revenge porn fall into one of two categories. On one hand, you have ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends trying to maintain a sexual or personal bond with their former partners. (Women rarely engage in this crime, but men do inflict it on other men). The other category involves a stalker who has taken unauthorized images and uses them to control their target. Both categories typically include some variation of, ‘I have photos/videos of you, and if you don’t send me more, I’m going to post/share/send the ones I already have to your new boyfriend/boss/dad.”

Preventing Revenge Porn

Of course, refusing to take or allow others to take sexually explicit images of you can protect you to some extent. And this is probably the safest path. However, the problem really isn’t the person who is victimized, it is the abuser. No one is entirely sure how to prevent this crime. Maybe popularizing the laws against it will help.

Spencer Coursen, a security expert with the Coursen Security Group and former Special Deputy United States Marshal, offers some suggestions. “If you’re going to [take images like this], do it in a way that your face isn’t in the photo or filter or edit them so there are no identifying traits.” This way, if the person you are in a relationship with turns on you later, at least the images will not have so much power over you. Identifying traits can include a recognizable background, birth marks, tattoos, jewelry or scars.

Of course, with the widespread prevalence of artificial intelligence (AI), abusers and predators alike are finding ways to create “deepfake porn.” Victims’ faces are superimposed onto a nude body that is not their own. It can appear they took explicit images or video even if they never did. 

What Can You Do?

Is pressuring someone to send sexually explicit images a red flag in a relationship? Definitely, Coursen says. “Demanding these types of images is a power dynamic. It’s the abuser saying, ‘How much control do I have over you? If I say, ‘Do this,’ are you going to do it?’”

If you’re a victim of threats of revenge porn, here are some things you can do:

Get Someone on Your Side

Contact a trained advocate through your local domestic violence agency. Ideally, make this call before you contact local law enforcement. Law enforcement tends to respond better when you have an advocate at your side.

Take Action Early 

It may be tempting just to avoid thinking about threats of revenge porn and assume everything will be okay. However, the abuser is less likely to act if you contact law enforcement as soon as you receive the threat.

Include Restraints on the Distribution of Sexual Images in Protective Orders 

Check with your local domestic violence agency to see about their experience with this, and if it is effective in your area. Learn more about protective orders in our Guide to Restraining Orders.

Use Reporting and Protection Tools 

Survivors may want to first reach out to an advocate at their local domestic violence nonprofit or Family Justice Center to talk about ways to legally go after an individual or abusive partner who is sharing explicit images. After that, Google created this form to request that images or personal information be taken out of their search results, including “personally identifiable nude or sexually explicit photos or videos shared without consent.”

You can also call the The Cyber Civil Rights Initiative helpline at 844-878-2274 for advice.