Domestic Violence Headlines for the Week of March 31

Welcome to another week of domestic violence-related headlines you may have missed. 

Airman Who Strangled Girlfriend Said It Was OK Because It Was During Sex

Jacob Frye will spend 12 months in military confinement after pleading guilty to physically assaulting two different women. The Kansas airman admitted to grabbing his girlfriend’s neck—also known as strangulation, one of the foremost indicators of domestic violence homicide—in 2020. Though he claimed the assault happened during intimacy, prosecutors pointed out it was part of a pattern of abuse. 

Advocates attest there is no safe way to strangle or “choke” someone, even as a sexual act, yet many individuals still do this dangerous act. 

“It takes only 4 pounds per square inch of pressure to the neck to occlude [close off circulation to] the jugular veins,” says Casey Gwinn, co-founder of the Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention. “Once they are occluded and the carotid arteries keep pumping blood up to the brain, brain cells start to die within 10 to 15 seconds. Externally, little red spots appear called petechial hemorrhages. You can see those. But if those petechiae are on the outside of skin they are also inside the brain—and that is permanent brain damage.” 

Frye, who has served 15 years in the Air Force, admitted to violently attacking a second partner in 2022, pulling out chunks of her hair as he attacked her. The survivor spoke before the Court-Martial and disclosed she suffered spinal injuries resulting in seven medical procedures after the incident. 

As part of his plea deal of only 12 months in confinement, Frye’s other charges that included rape, violating a no-contact order and destruction of property were all dropped. 

Another man who liked to strangle his partner during sex? Brian Laundrie, who went on to murder his girlfriend Gabby Petito in 2021. Read more about that story in “Strangulation Is the Highest Predictor of Murder.”

Source: KWCH 12 News

New Netflix Show, Adolescence, Brings the Shocking Truth of the ‘Manosphere’ to Audiences

In Netflix's new four-part series Adolescence, a 13-year-old boy named Jamie is accused of murdering a female classmate. We later find out he feels justified in doing so because she rejected him. The series, set in Northern England, has opened up dialogues about toxic masculinity and its overlap with young boys’ search for understanding. 

When talking about the show’s takeaways for parents on Good Morning America this week, the hosts referenced the “so-called manosphere.” It is, in fact, a very real thing. The manosphere is an online collective of misogynistic influencers and grifters, profiting typically off of young men who are trying to find support, understanding and a place of belonging. Instead, boys and men often spiral into a dark online underworld of blogs, YouTube channels and social media platforms that promote toxic masculinity and violence against women, all under the auspice of men being the victims of female rejection. Accused sex trafficker and rapist Andrew Tate is one of the manosphere’s heroes, asserting online that women should bear responsibility for rape. A man who says he watched hours of Tate’s videos went on to rape and murder his ex-girlfriend after she broke up with him. He then murdered her mother and sister. 

“On the surface, [the manosphere] is all under the guise of self-help, dating and relationships, looks-maxxing,” Cynthia Miller-Idriss, a sociology professor at American University told Teen Vogue last year. But, she attests, once boys have entered the community looking for help, the “dialogue, tone, and tenor changes,” and blame for any of their issues is targeted at women and the feminist movement. Miller-Idriss calls it “a great example of how radicalism works.”

The show’s creator, Jack Thorne, ventured into some of the most disturbing parts of the internet, telling Wired.com that there are elements of the manosphere that would have resonated to him as a teenager.

“It does make sense of that feeling inside you just like, ‘I'm unattractive. I can't join in conversations. I can't be the person I want to be. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever,’” Thorne says.

The internet can be a dangerous place for both adolescent boys and girls, the latter of which are the most at-risk group for online bullying and dating violence. At the same time, the Justice Department says sextortion of boys is the fastest-growing cyber threat online. To learn more, read “Is Social Media Bad for Kids?”

Erica Sóuter, parenting and life coach, told GMA that signs like social withdrawal, persistent sadness, and not wanting to do any of the activities they used to do, are all indicators that something is going on with your teen. 

“If you’re a parent and you feel like something’s off, don’t ignore that instinct,” says Sóuter.

There has been some discussion by lawmakers about banning social media for teens, a concept Thorne supports to some degree. “It becomes like cigarettes. It becomes like alcohol. It becomes like guns. If you don't get it, you don't get it, because you're not ready for it. You don't have the filters in your brain to be able to process [it],” he says.

Sources: Various, see above

Female Police Officer Files for Order of Protection, Is Then Investigated By Police

When a female police officer in Queensland, Australia filed for an order of protection against her abusive husband, the police commissioner decided to open an investigation against her instead.

The unnamed officer who filed the order alleges her husband threw her off the bed, monitored her phone and restricted her access to their finances. He then filed his own order of protection in return. In the paperwork, he could “not identify” any acts of violence by his wife.

A mutual restraining order is typically an act of retaliation by the abuser called DARVO, or deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. In doing this, abusers know it undermines the survivor’s case and police are less likely to arrest the abuser for subsequent assaults.

After the female officer filed for her order, the Queensland police commissioner attempted to access her confidential court records related to domestic and family violence because the police service “wishes to investigate allegations of her having committed acts of domestic violence.” Luckily, the state chief magistrate, Janelle Brassington, denied the commissioner’s access to her records, ruling that survivors of domestic violence would be deterred from seeking help if they knew doing so would trigger disciplinary action by their employer, in this case, the very police service meant to protect the survivor. 

A 2022 inquiry into Queensland police service showed police officers there frequently failed to recognize who was the person “most in need of protection” when responding to domestic violence calls. Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety found that half of the women murdered by intimate partners in one year alone had been previously identified by the police as being the perpetrators. Arriving on scene at a domestic violence call, police try to identify the primary aggressor, which can be challenging if both parties are claiming injuries and pointing fingers at each other. There are certain steps survivors can take to ensure the abuser doesn’t accuse them of mutual abuse. Read “Help Police Determine Who Is the Primary Aggressor” for more information.

Mutual abuse—or when two partners are simultaneously abusive toward each other—is a very rare occurrence, say domestic violence advocates. In domestic violence, one partner exerts power over the other through a pattern of repeated control and sometimes violence. If the survivor responds to the aggressor with an emotional reaction, it’s not mutual, it’s reactionary. Calling it mutual abuse reinforces the belief that the survivor is at fault for the abuse. 

Source: The Guardian