Ask Amanda: Where Do My Donations to DomesticShelters.org Go?

Key Takeaways:

1. Your Donations Support Survivors Directly: DomesticShelters.org relies entirely on donations, as it does not receive federal or state funding. Contributions help fund educational content, shelter directories, webinars and tools like the AI assistant “Hope Chat,” which guide survivors to resources.
2. Critical Services Offered: The organization provides a comprehensive online directory of shelters across the U.S. and Canada, educational webinars and resources to help survivors recognize and escape abuse. Their Wish List program also allows donors to directly provide essential items to shelters.
3. Domestic Violence Education and Advocacy: Domestic violence is widely underreported, and many survivors turn to online resources for help. DomesticShelters.org reaches millions each year, aiming to break the cycle of abuse through accessible education, advocacy, and support.

Q: I make a monthly donation to DomesticShelters.org because your site helped me when I was trying to escape my abuser. I’ve learned so much about abuse and all the ways that my abusive ex was brainwashing me into staying with him. I’m just curious where the money that I donate goes. 

First off, thank you for donating. DomesticShelters.org is a nonprofit. Our services are funded by generous donations like yours. We don’t receive federal or state funding to do what we do. I’m so glad that you found the content on our site helpful when you were ready to leave your abusive partner. 

One of the main hurdles to escaping abuse is not recognizing that what you’re enduring is, in fact, abuse. Many survivors have told me that it wasn’t until years went by, or they wound up in the emergency room, or they saw the effect that their partner’s behavior was having on their children that they started to accept  they were victims of abuse. That’s on the abuser—they often trick survivors into believing that the abuser’s choices are somehow their fault. Or they gaslight the survivor into doubting their reality. Education on patterns of abusers can be key to seeing the actual truth of the situation. 

“When people start experiencing abuse they go online,” says Ashley Rumschlag, National Director of DomesticShelters.org. “The more donations we receive, the more content we can create, like articles, videos and webinars.”

Your donation helps to provide the steady flow of content that we distribute, as well as the technology to keep it running smoothly, provided by an amazing company called By the Pixel. These services are integral to helping survivors like yourself find the best and safest way to extricate themselves from abusive partners.

So what kind of services will your donation go toward continuing?

For starters, DomesticShelters.org is the first comprehensive online directory of domestic violence shelters throughout the U.S. and Canada. In just a few clicks, survivors can locate a list of shelters in their area and learn what each offers to find the right fit. They’ll be connected with local hotlines where trained domestic violence advocates can offer them location-specific support. 

Our site is also a hub of news and information on all things domestic violence-related. Nearly any topic one can imagine on domestic violence is likely covered here by journalists who specialize in covering gender-based violence.  

Beyond that, DomesticShelters.org also offers continuing education for advocates and others interested in learning more about domestic violence through regular webinars on important topics like coercive control and strangulation, which have helped thousands better understand the nuances of domestic violence.

We also offer a Wish List program for any shelter or agency that wants to sign up. The Wish List program allows visitors to DomesticShelters.org to shop for any shelter in the U.S. and deliver their most needed items as a direct gift. The program has helped donate over $350,000 worth of supplies to shelters and program.

Most recently, DomesticShelters.org unveiled its newest feature – Hope Chat, an AI assistant that can quickly help visitors find exactly the information or support they’re looking for. 

The crux of all of these amazing services is, as I mentioned, that they’re not free to provide. Each feature has a cost associated with it to create, produce, post, promote and maintain. These kinds of costs are something nearly every nonprofit endures. And with so many worthy charities to donate to, why should you consider donating to DomesticShelters.org?

Domestic violence is a vastly underreported crime, meaning that many survivors of abuse never call the police. They may never disclose the abuse to a domestic violence advocate. When asked by their doctor if they feel safe at home, they may say yes, even though they’re scared of their partner. Sometimes, this is out of fear—they’ve been warned of the consequences of reporting abuse by the abuser themself. Sometimes, they don’t see what the abuser is doing as abusive. Some survivors have become conditioned to abusive behavior in childhood or past relationships that they simply don’t realize (yet) that they deserve to feel safe. Or, they may be holding out hope that the abuser is going to change. They minimize the abuse they’re subjected to because they’re sure it’ll stop any day now.

Many of those individuals are the ones who choose to go online instead, secretly googling questions like, “Why am I scared of my boyfriend?”, “Is it normal for my husband to hit me when he’s angry?” or “How do I get him to stop yelling at me?” And that’s where they find DomesticShelters.org. 

In the 10 years since DomesticShelters.org debuted, we’ve seen the number of visitors to our site grow from 578,000 the first year to over to 2.7 million in 2024. That’s a lot of survivors, like yourself, as well as advocates and support persons who are seeking information. And that’s our goal—to provide education and resources in one easy-to-access spot. 

In “Philanthropy is Not Always Sexy,” advocate Lori Day writes, “Fundraising for domestic violence is not glamorous,” and she’s right. We don’t throw fancy galas or expensive dinners in order to draw attention to domestic violence. Most domestic violence nonprofits struggle with finances because many people are under the belief that domestic violence isn’t really at the epidemic levels that it actually is. 

Everyone deserves to feel safe regardless of gender, sexual identity, age, location and socioeconomic status. Currently, however, that is not the case. Women, especially, are not safe. The reality is at least 41 percent of women experience physical or sexual violence, or stalking, by an intimate partner in their lifetime according to CDC estimates. And that’s just the women we know about. 

In Day’s article, she notes that Economist Robert Reich found that, according to the Congressional Budget Office in 2012, of $39 billion in charitable giving, $33 billion was given to operas, art museums, symphonies, theaters, private schools and universities—in other words, to nonprofits that benefit primarily the wealthy themselves while providing tax deductions. That left only $6 billion, or 15 percent, of donations going straight to people who desperately need help—the poor, the sick, the wounded, the abused.

“When I hear people say that their city’s symphony needs financial support just as much as a domestic violence shelter or a homeless shelter, I feel sad and cynical,” writes Day. “I understand that society needs art and culture, but the literal saving of lives is not prioritized.”

DomesticShelters.org allows generous supporters like yourself many different ways to donate, including:

• Cash donations
• Corporate giving
• Round-Up Program
• Shopping a shelter’s wish list 
• Make a cryptocurrency donation
• Donate stocks
• Nominate an organization or person for a Purple Ribbon Award
• Underwrite an article

You can read more about involving your company in helping domestic violence survivors in “A New Type of Workplace Fundraiser.” Or, hear firsthand from advocates in shelters on how much Wish List donations help them in “You Can Grant a Holiday Miracle for Survivors of Abuse Today” (you know, whether or not it’s a holiday). 

Thank you for your continued support!

Have a question for Ask Amanda? Message us on Facebook, Twitter or email AskAmanda@DomesticShelters.org. 

Ask Amanda is meant to offer helpful resources and information about domestic violence. If in crisis, please reach out to your nearest domestic violence shelter for the guidance of a trained advocate.